WELCOME - or not (Read this as a pinned post)

Welcome to my blog!
or, maybe you are not welcome.

You either will fall into the category of Welcome or NOT Welcome.

Pretty much 80% o the online population is most likely not welcome here.

For the other 20%, I'll extend my warmest of welcome!

What is this blog and who is this bitch?

This blog is my life.
It deals with many things.

One is me being a bitch.
One is me being the sweetest person in the world! a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, but she doesn't post here much.

This blog deals with real life.
A real person.

This blog also deals with depression, motherhood, teens, pre teens, babies and toddlers.

Other things you will find in this blog are things about religion, parenting, mother in laws, extended families, work from home moms, stay at home moms, sports, gymnastics, cheerleading, memes, cats, dancing, crafting and whatever else I love or have a bee in my bonnet about.

Why am I writing a blog?

I write the blog for me.
I write the blog to vent.
I have horrible opinions.

AND - the kicker...

I have horrid grammar, punctuation and sentence structure. But I'm still writing this anyways.

If I see a comment dodging any validity of voicing my opinion based on my typing skills I will delete it. I will just lay that out there now. I guess I could turn off comments as well, that might work too.

Why?

Because I can.

Do I have a learning disability or am I just plain stupid? 

Well, I'll be honest. I DO have some type of learning disability. Back in the late 80s I was one of the first round of kids being diagnosed with ADHD/ADD.  I also have Agoraphobia and Anthropophobia and right now I'm struggling with PPD and just plain old Depression.

The main voice of my blog is probably my Depression. Yes, I capitalize it as it consumes most of my days. It's a pretty large part of my struggle in life right now.

About me:

I do not like crowded places, or being around people. I know I am this way and I'm dealing with it because frankly...

I don't care.

I work through it because I have a sane and rational brain (ok, maybe only about 63% of the time) and writing things out helps.

ADHD was a huge hurdle to get over as a child and as a female especially back when people just looked at you like an idiot.
I was the kid who day dreamed in class. I knew every clocks (you know, those old school clocks) time and how many minutes off they were from one another in each class.
I counted ceiling tiles during lectures and memorized which classroom had how many.
I imagined myself in places far far away from school each day.

High School was torture.
While being tested by my school, I (and my parents) were told I had an above average IQ but was not applying myself.
The pressure was on and I ended up hardly getting out with a 1.7 GPA. No college for this dumbass.
Every semester I got to hear that they KNEW I was smart enough, just not applying myself.
Really?

Through some amazing counseling I learned how to help myself.
Now I either help myself be a competent adult or not.

*You know those warnings on the sides of paddling pools? Well, I'm officially one of those competent adults that can watch a child swim and or eat a kinder egg without choking on the toy.

Anyways, hopefully this blog will be a great outlet for me for my day to day struggles.

I know you hate me or will hate me because the things I will say.

and I don't care. If you are fine with that then great! If not then I am befuddled at why you are still reading my blog.

I'm a horrible person.

I acknowledge it, I am somewhat sorry for it, but it does not change who I am.

A few horrid things about me: This is sort of a list I guess.

I have had an eating disorder since I was 14 and I knew it was wrong but enjoyed the control I had.
While I am currently not under the influence of my dark little secret, I actually miss her and yes, I named her. She was my best friend.

I am an anarchist.

OH you don't even know what that word means lady (I hear you thinking that!)

Yes, yes I DO know what that word means and NO I'm not a true Anarchist... but a modified version.
I do NOT support either party in our current Government and to be honest, I'm scared of people who are very strongly one way or the other. I feel like there is some sort of secret mask over their eyes where it won't allow them to have common sense.

I'd be happier being a hermit, but I can not live that way.

I have a strong tolerance for Idiots.

I'm a hypocrite.

I'm very passionate about being a human.

I hate humans.

I sometimes like insects and animals more then humans, except hornets. I hate hornets with a passion.

I know that I'm crazy and I have grown to accept it.

I love my brain sometimes but I hate myself.

I'm not sure why my husband married me, or how I was allowed to have 4 amazing children, but I'm very blessed.

I believe in God.

I don't think I can believe in Jesus yet.

I'm not Jewish.

I believe in science and a God, so it's probably not the God you may believe in.

I do not believe in humans translations of biblical words. (Not even time to even explain that one)

I hate what religion does to people.

I don't know what I believe.

I am a sanctimommy.

I hate other sanctimommies.

I don't drink.

I almost died 2 years ago.

Sometimes I think I did.

Sometimes I still want to.

I'm going to be ok, and so are you.

So there you have it.

Stuff from my brain.

Oh and another thing...

If you lurk or snooped on my profile you can see I've been a blogger since 2008. I've actually been blogging longer but as with this profile and my other, I have decided to delete all previous content and start over.

Have I ever had a mommy blog?

NO. I have not. AND I'm not looking to have a mommy blog but that will be the 90% of what I write about since I have a handful of kids and it's my life. I DO however reading "mommy blogs".
Some are amazing and some make me really wish I had a mommy friend.

I don't have anything else to say I guess right now.




-End